When I was 12 I was raped. It killed me. I’ve been dead ever since. It got all over town and I was tortured for it. Was called a whore. Everybody said I wanted it. I rode around with a bunch of potheads until I was 17. I was empty. I was tired of being empty so I planned a child and gave birth when i was 18. After that I was told I was infertile. When I was 28 I gave birth to my 2nd child. The moment I told my mother I wanted to give her up for adoption because she was a product of another rape she started buying baby stuff. When I was abducted i fell in the woods on some logs and this caused me to have degenerative spinal disc disease. Around the 4th of July of this year my mother threw me off a desk and i fractured my tail bone. The time that I did have to live actually live my life I was doing nothing but smoking pot, sticking my finger down my throat, and starving myself. I was a recluse. I only left the house to buy weed. Now my parents take care of my children because I am to physically disabled and in constant physical pain that I can’t. Before I had my 2nd child I was emaciated and having a lot of seizures. I wish I would have gotten an abortion because I likely would have died. Every doctor I see for my physical pain won’t help me. Other than the physical pain since John abducted me and tortured me I feel nothing but physical pain. I have no emotions. I’m not a ghost. Ghosts feel emotions. I’m an empty shell and I plan on killing myself as soon as I find a fullproof way to.